Category Archives: Farting Is Gross
My Dad = The “Frog Carpet” Fart
Today, my editor said this 13 Dumb Names For Different Kinds of Farts is unofficially dedicated to my father. Mainly for reasons such as this. It has been brought to my attention that my dad specializes in the “Frog Carpet” … Continue reading
Filed under Farting Is Gross
When It Comes To My Dad, Discussing Farts Is Like Chatting About The Weather
On the way home from the furniture store tonight, my dad regaled me with more talk about his gastrointestinal issues. Dad: When I walk by your room, can you hear my farts? Me: No. Dad: Do you hear me farting … Continue reading
My Dad And The (Other) Dreaded C-Word
For over 10 years, I have worried that my dad has some undetected form of cancer. He has a headache? It’s brain cancer. His feet hurt? Foot cancer. My dad has been smoking for 50 years, and I am all … Continue reading
My Dad Is Quite The Noisy Fellow
My dad is not a quiet man. Nine minutes out of 10, he is making some sort of needless noise. Sometimes it is warranted — he has painful foot issues and bad knees, so when he gets up off the … Continue reading
After 8 peaceful years on my own, I left my tiny New York City apartment for my hometown of Independence, Missouri, a mere five days before my 30th birthday. Why? I missed my dad. Biannual visits weren't enough; I longed for Sunday dinners with The Ol' Man. But I forgot that before I can enjoy those occasional dinners, only to go back to my own Kansas City apartment, I would need to take up temporary residence. In my childhood home. After losing my mother to cancer in 1998, my outspoken, liberal, Vietnam veteran hippie father has grown accustomed to living alone. And when my cat and I move in, my 60-year-old pop's bachelor pad (and world) is turned upside down. -
