The Ol’ Man’s one-liners from family Thanksgiving as transcribed by my cousin Cara Depew. She calls him Uncle Dingus. It is fitting.
“Is that a natural body odor coming off one of you two, or is that one of the animals? Damn that smells good. Is that Grandma?” -Dingus
“God, I was looking at YouTube last night. I wanted to see videos of chimps attacking people, but there was all these videos of chimps mating. And there was this one of a chimp trying to get with a sheep. The sheep wasn’t having it, so the chimp went around front and started humpin’ his face! You know, I got into a regular fuckfest! I know you’re going to go look it now. They was doing the wild thing.” -Dingus
“If I saw you mating with a chimp, I’d leave…to go get my camera. Then you’d be on YouTube. This is Tina with BONZOOO. Hahaha. No, I’d leave, Tina. So you can do want you want to do. Do you thing.” -Dingus
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